Wednesday, March 28, 2018

Went Looking For You

Went looking for you at the farmer’s market
amongst the vendors with fruits and 
vegetables, peddling every edible imaginable
Yearned for a slice from our favorite pizza place 
near the market. But now it is closed.

Drinking a glass of pinot noir
The mix of berry and combination 
of flavors infusing my brain but still no bite 
at the end Left a blah taste in my mouth

Traveling down a country lane
spotting for deer and wild pigs
under the mist of a full moon
Only to perceive the permeance 
of a wandering skunk

Searching in traffic for every Prius whizzing 
by or maybe a cyclist, remembering the day 
I saw your backend in the same turn lane
with us arriving home from work in tandem

In bed snuggling your pillow unwilling to 
change the sheets, trying to soak up the 
remnants of the DNA you left behind Sad
that our last sleepover was unremarkable

In the flames of the fire
Wondering what you were searching for
amid the embers Afraid you didn’t find me
My beating heart burning for you

Listening to NPR which you brought into my life 
filling a void I didn’t know needed to be filled 
News Words Music Interviews Podcasts
Relishing the jazz music we seldomly listened to

Taking a shower with the water beating down on
my body alone Don’t have to share the
water which turned cold too soon
Miss brushing against the 
cold tile with our pas de deux 

Opening the refrigerator I am at a loss
you left your eggs which are now expired 
the truffle cheese now hardened At least 
the can of Coke or bottle of beer don’t spoil
Not lucky enough to find a half bottle of Chardonnay

Scrolling through Facebook I find memes to share
Which you never acknowledged
I miss your existential postings because I unfriended you
Hoping your friends did not.

I went looking for you at eko Coffee.
Saw a gay couple so tenderly holding hands I was 
jealous of their young love and somber because 
ours grew old. Miss your hand holding mine 
which is how you stole my heart.

I went looking for you at The Bistro where we met
when you came up to me and said, “I like your poetry.”
On open mic night afraid you would be there. Didn’t 
know what I’d do if you were, not willing to read this poem.
I could expose my heart to the barflies, but not to you.

I’m trying to be brave

At the marina where we had so many dates
I went looking for you in the sunset

Found you in my tears
Went home comforted





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